I am who I am today because of my journey with God. I didn’t grow up in a Christian household or attend church, although my mother is Christian. Despite that, I did acknowledge God’s existence. It was at times when I called out for Him in need. I was aware of God’s presence at times but brushed it off and never took a deeper dive to learn who He was.
On a particular day, my mom talked about going back to church and she insisted that I and my sister accompany her. I went to church but still wasn’t eager to learn about Him. I also felt out of place because everyone knew each other. Besides my sister, my only friend at church was Mrs. Ma. She encouraged me to come to church every chance she got. I remember her gifting me a Bible of my own and a devotional book. One day during the pandemic, my curiosity made me open up the devotional book. I was told to be consistent with the book and I was. I enjoyed praising God through songs that spoke out to me, reading and learning what God is like and it sparked a fire in my heart. I started learning, praying, quarreling less with my sister, and working on my profanity. It was the beginning of me finding happiness and in Genesis 1:27 “So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them.” Reading this spoke to my heart because I had no sense of my worth and this altered how I viewed myself; I started loving myself because God’s creation is beautiful.
Nonetheless, I drifted away from God because of school, I didn’t make Him my priority, and I didn’t choose Him. Each action of praying and opening my devotional book became less and less frequent. I became inconsistent to the point I stopped praying and putting my Bible aside on my desk. During high school, I attended fellowship on Fridays. It was my path to reconcile my relationship with God. Each day, I felt more and more comfortable being there, I made great friends with whom I was able to be myself around and slowly I admired their relationship with God, and how sincere they were. I wanted to know what it was like to have a relationship with God.
The Summer Retreat of 2022 changed everything. I learned about the harsh truth of what faith is like, meaning faith keeps you believing even in the midst of your doubts. He is always testing us and we should always be focused on Him and not our hardships. Pastor Montelongo talked about child-like faith, it brought me back to the heartfelt moments of my commitment to God. After Pastor Montelongo’s preaching and hearing other people’s testimonies, I wanted to have a relationship with God. I saw how God worked in each person's life.
I was on my spiritual high at Tuscarora but then it all came down as expected as Pastor Montelongo stated that it would happen; the fire stopped burning. God tested my faith as He put me in a position where I discovered to put all my faith in Him even as small as a mustard seed, giving myself; my heart for Him to mend, that I am imperfect and I am a sinner. Through the midst of my journey, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on November 30, when Mrs. Ma asked me if I accepted Jesus. I accepted Jesus in my heart, believing he died on the cross for me. He saved me from all my sins and from then Mrs. Ma led my prayer in accepting Christ. I felt so content, smiling ear to ear like a child, I accepted Christ.
God loves me unconditionally and He is always there for me to cry to. I now strive for a consistent relationship with God, not just calling Him in need but a genuine bond, learning more about His word and the desire to become like His son Jesus.