In the past, I had always been very surface-level with my understanding of Christ. I had always attended Sunday school but never really understood and felt like I didn’t have a stable relationship with Christ. Before turning my life to Christ, I wanted to be my best at most things and impress others. I had always felt out of place in my life and wanted to better myself to feel more confident. But this also caused me to blame myself and others for things that seemed out of my control or didn’t feel right. I would stress about things that I had no control over, like school work or health issues, and worry too much about other people’s perceptions of me.
The process of turning back to Christ was slow. I accepted Christ back on August 27th, 2021, during a Zoom meeting with Mrs. Ma. At that time I prayed to confess my sins and accept Christ Jesus in my heart to be my Lord and Savior. While I knew that I had Christ in my heart, I wanted to learn more and I felt that I needed to work on getting my faith to be stronger with Christ, so when I was asked if I was ready to get baptized yet, I said no. Over time, my life has been progressively getting harder and harder to control, which has caused a lot of stress and confusion. One of the most positive moments in my life was going to church retreats, where it felt like I was able to escape my struggles and get closer to Christ. It was because of these moments that I realized that if I wanted to feel free, I needed to turn my life to Christ. I began to pray more during tough situations and whenever I felt confused. Knowing everything is in God’s plan and letting Him guide me has allowed me to feel more comfortable knowing everything will turn out as He has intended. So recently, when I was asked if I was considering getting baptized once again, I said yes this time.
I now know that whenever I feel stressed, worried, or in a state of panic, I can trust in Lord Jesus and the path that He is guiding me to calm my mind down. I can always do this by praying, talking, and communicating with God. Although I am still learning more new things, I can now feel more safe and secure about knowing that I am fine in the position that I am in and God always loves me no matter what. I can now prioritize living in the moment over worrying about the future knowing I have Christ in my heart.