Since my childhood, I went to church, but I was never shown or given a clear understanding of what it meant to live a life that followed Christ. I just knew that as long as I continued to attend church every Sunday morning and prayed every now and then, and believed that God exists, I should have eternal life in heaven. Later, in 2019, I attended a gospel camp that allowed me to discover more about God and His worthiness. There I sang songs, read the Bible, listened to small groups and had quiet time. All of these experiences allowed me to grow closer to God and really consider my commitment. At the camp, I can still remember the significance they put on the question: Have you come forward to personally accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? This question lingered in my mind for quite a long time and also allowed me to recognize that I did want to know more about what it means to receive Christ, how to rededicate my life to Him, and how to demonstrate my faith. Yes, it was true that I still didn’t fully comprehend my thoughts at that moment, and that I wasn’t completely firm on the decision I was making, or even sure how to actually pursue Christ and accept Him into my life, it felt both good and right to take a closer step towards this devotion.
In 2020, the Covid pandemic came, a barrier that led me to distance myself from God. I was influenced to return back to my worldly lifestyle very quickly, finding my identity in my own desires rather than Christ. This obstacle prevented me from attending church for a long period of time, causing me to start to forget what was important and what really mattered. In me, grew the fear of going back, the thought that things would be different from how they once were. But in the midst of all my paranoid emotions, I felt that God was calling me to come back and pull myself together. It occurred when I was quiet and alone, like a whisper in my heart. There was a message to stop procrastinating and building unnecessary anxiety. It was as if I had found my way home after being lost for a long time; there was a realization that I needed something greater than myself. At that moment I prayed by myself to confess my sins and accept Christ Jesus in my heart as my Lord and Savior. I once again felt a reconnection with God, a sense of responsibility, and an even stronger will to learn more about His word.
Thereafter, in the spring of 2023, I decided to attend a retreat to help close the gap that separated me. I began to attend church again, read the Bible more, pray more often, and interact with others who shared my faith. This relationship also came with a great sense of hope, purpose, and comfort. I even felt a stronger connection to others around me. In addition, I realized that I was calmer in situations that I would usually lose composure in, such as in school when I had to present a speech, challenging tests, or getting in an argument with my siblings. This journey enabled me to transform my perspective, offering consolation and strength in the face of life’s ups and downs. The sense of relief, redemption, and unconditional love that follows is both powerful and life-changing for me.